I just got checked by the universe.............

Picture this: a hot, young mom, pulls out of her driveway with her infant son in the back & her long blonde hair blows in the wind. This would be me...only reader beware - before you start the envy, make the following edits:
Place the word 'mess' after 'hot.' 
Assume 'young' means my child is young and I am still very much learning. 
Replace the word 'pulls,' with 'squeals.' 
Sneak 'unbrushed' between words 'long' & 'blonde. ' 
Understand that my hair was only blowing in the wind because my windows were down in an attempt to drown out the stench of my son's freshly loaded diaper....
I mean you're catching what I'm throwing here right? Glamorous doesn't begin to cover how picturesque my life is. Ha. 

It's true, I am squealing out of the driveway because it's 10:21 & my son's 9 month check up has been rescheduled for today at 10:30, because I missed yesterday's appointment because with all that is this life, I forgot - and - NOT TODAY! Not again, at least. He is upset because, well diaper, and he's screaming which is only adding to the chaos. I'm driving down the street like a bat of hell when we get to a green arrow (my favorite traffic signal EVER) and of the 2 cars in front of me, one is waiting for her top coat to dry & the other is eating a 4 course breakfast...or something - but whatever it is, THEY AREN'T DRIVING! Don't these bitches know we have somewhere to be?! So I honk and wave and say, "Let's go people! The light is green!!" We are all driving up the street now and I've decided I hope they see I'm headed en route to the Dr.'s so they feel badly they made me wait...no really. I'm actually having these thoughts. It's kind of ridiculous, but in the spirit of authenticity - there ya go...

We manage to get to the Dr.'s office all in one piece. The baby is sucking his thumb & has calmed in the backseat. I've managed to get here on time (& how did I manage that?!) & find close parking. I grab the monkey man (baby), our luggage (or so it would seem) and trek to the front door of the building. A tall, fatherly figure, whom I would guess to be Haitian, is kindly holding the door for us; I have a baby after all. He says something to someone on the elevator & I realize he is speaking to his son, who mind you, is following in his father's footsteps and holding the elevator door open for a teeny old lady who is moving slowly as she pushes a walker, he is asking his son to continue to hold the elevator for me and dad says to son, "Please hold for the mother & baby..." We all load up. My son is taking it all in, smiling at everyone on the elevator & I am catching my breath...
And [finally] climbing out of my head space to observe my surroundings. 

The man's son is about 15 years old. He's a full grown boy, somewhere between 5'10 & 6 ft tall I would presume. He has a brace supporting his entire torso. It starts at his hips and works its way up on either side of his rib cage. It hugs either side of his chest & back. Eventually the brace sprawls its way around the boys neck so that his head is completely stationary. His right arm is fully extended, and this brace, this piece of equipment that appears to be holding the boy's body together, extends all the way to the very tip of his middle finger, with joints & webbing spanning across his hand, wrist, elbow, shoulder and back to his torso. Its made of many pieces of metal & plastic & foam. The boy couldn't possibly be comfortable but he stands so I can see his profile, and he's smirking at my son, in an attempt to keep him smiling. Four of the five of us were getting out on the 2nd floor, pediatrics. The father & his son exit the elevator with my son & me. The father lingers for a moment & asks the elderly woman if she's sure she's got it from there, ensuring her he'd be happy to help her get to her destination. She is gracious but insists she will be fine & makes a broad statement to have a good day, raising a shaky hand to wave goodbye to the infant on board. 

The father and son entered the first office off the elevator which is a nationally recognized burn center. I am observing only what I've seen thus far and from one parent to the next, I look at the father and offer an encouraging smile telling him my heart is with him. I gently whispered to him, "poor thing," only to offer empathy and a hint of understanding. Understanding that if that were my son, I too would be instilling good manners but that I get what it's like to love a child...I actually get that. And for that pain & that kind of love, I'm sorry. The son turns to look at me for the first time, and I see that half of this beauty's face is severely burned, as his neck, and from the small amount of skin showing at the end of his brace, his hand. I can't tell you what has happened to this teenager but I can tell you it will be, and has already, been a long road to recovery. 

From entering the building to arriving on the 2nd floor, the whole thing couldn't have taken longer than 20 seconds. But it was 20 seconds, this spaz of a woman, this rushed mom with a false sense of high importance, REALLY needed. I quickly realized that none of this other bullshit matters! Tardiness doesn't matter, slow cars don't matter. What's the worst that would have happened if we were late to the Dr.'s appointment? I would have had to reschedule? Maybe if the office was in some sort of special mood, they would have charged me for a visit?? It doesn't matter. What matters is our health. Our safety. Our good manners. Our kind ways. Our love for one another. The fact we are alive and it's all going to be ok. These are the things that matter. I try to live to these philosophies as a rule, but sometimes I forget. I'm hurried or I'm overwhelmed and I stumble. It happens, I'm fallible...hard to believe but it's true! I make mistakes & I don't always know how to correct them. I believe in evolution though, and I believe that for every action there is an equal & opposite reaction & I believe this interaction with this father & son duo; teaming up to offer politeness & kindness wherever they go, was the universe speaking to me from another dimension, reminding me to slow the fuck down. 
Take a deep breath. 
Breathe. 
Calm. 
Be. 
And it will all be, ok. 
Ok? 
Ok...

Be wonderful and your life will follow. 

...and her life was Simply wonderful

All my very best,
Emily 

shaving and exfoliating like what?

This post is dedicated to the glamazeutiful shower I took this morning...lavender sugar salt scrub and all!

This weekend on What Are We Toasting To? (just a random new name for this blog I came up with...do we like it? Is it totally lame? Should I just stick with what I've got??  Let me know in the comments section kthanksssss....) we're talking about when life hands you lemons and you make lemonade and not necessarily because the lemonade is that much better; but because it's more of like - a necessary for your sanity, er - um tastebuds - and you've come to appreciate even the sourness the lemon offers to begin with because well theoretically the lemon is life...sweet bullshit additives such as sugar are not life. Sweet, bullshit, additives like sugar to the lemons of life, are a cover up, they're lipstick, a mockery of the lemon to begin with. Ok - I need less caffeine at night - I digress. And I love lipstick.  Lemons & lemonade and what happens when baby doesn't sleep, and how that can be lemony - which isn't necessarily bad - and how since my son has been born even though it's a helluva an adjustment, I have learned to appreciate so much more than I ever did before - is what's on topic for this here blog post (and I'm taking a breath you should too - that was a lot, and more is coming!).

I love the fact that at 3 months old, my precious bundle, Oliver, is an excellent sleeper - it's like - so so glorious....except for when he's not and it's like - so un-glorious. 
Like everything in this new world of parenting, when it comes to sleep, we have good days and we have bad days. Good days consist of several naps of appropriate length and an easy peasy goodnight lay down session in which he sleeps from around 8:30 pm to 7 am (hallelujah!). But guess what? In order for me to mucho appreciate the good nap days there's just got to be - (cue dramatic music....) DOM DOM DOM (!) -  a  shitty nap day. A shitty nap day means no naps, which equates to lots of fussiness & temporary bouts of smiles which ultimately mean just when I get into his fest of giggles - he erupts into a festival of cries (like out of nowhere - how do they do that?! Like us women, I tell ya...happy one sec and *boom* say/do the wrong thing - pissed the next.) 

Being the active type that I am - before baby, I was nothing if I wasn't doing 30 things in my day. This is no longer the case...and that is because, well - baby. You see when he isn't a happy baby (see shitty nap day), I'm not a happy mom and in order to get by I must consent to let go of whatever plans I thought I had and just let life happen the way it's meant to, sugary-additive free. 

Also Known As: OLIVER RULES (his way or the highway mmmm?)

It's just easier. Easier on him, cause that's how he expects it - and easier on me because I'm not fighting the inevitable. Accepting what is. Coming to this understanding and agreement with myself has made life a lot more simple, let me tell you. Besides, aside from this understanding, I also know that wherever a shitty sleep day lies, an exceptional sleep day follows. And that my friends is something to look forward to. 

~~~~~

T'was Saturday, and the child hadn't slept a wink. He couldn't! There was too much excitement going on in the outside world. His mind wouldn't shut off. Fret not though, I did, as I knew that Sunday, a day of exceptional sleep, lie ahead! And not just a day of exceptional sleep but a day when dad was home. Jimmi could be near should anything go wrong in dreamland and that meant I was free to shower and I will take that sir thankyouverymuch! I remember the feeling I got as I saw what lie in my future. A little slice of paradise was beckoning me from the bathroom. I could almost see the shower and all of the shower accessories - loofahs, smelly soaps, scrubs, and razors, yes even razors - glistening from the nursery as I lay him down for his second nap of the day. I could nearly hear the reflective ding that comes off of crystal champagne glasses when you clink 2 together, as I imagined all of the luxuriousness I was about to embark upon. This was not going to be any 3 minute hose down, oh no - this was going to be a shower MADE FOR A WOMAN. A 15 minute vacation submerging me into a steamy, hair free & smooth abyss of Japanese Cherry Blossom (yes I still use that - does that make me 12? Oh well #simplepleasures) awaited me. And I ceased every. Single. Moment. 


This brings me back to lemons and why it's important to embrace lemons as they are. There is a silver lining, free of sugary additives everywhere - or there can be - if you look for it. As I've said before, I am not one to shy away from celebrations, even if I have to create them. And so I didn't. To all you mommy's or severely time starved people out there: Shower on my friends, shower on.

words: me. melody and likeness:Raffy
(thank you Baby Einstein...)

...and her life was Simply wonderful

All my very best,
Emily  

Nice is Important

Simple statement, true story: NICE IS IMPORTANT.

Being nice is a relatively easy thing to be and the reward is so brilliant. It just takes some thought and a wee bit of selflessness (you can do that right?). And something magical happens: A ripple effect is created. 
Have you ever even considered the thought? 
A ripple effect from being nice. 
What a concept.

Don't believe me? Well humor me & think of the adverse for a second.

So not to confuse the 2 - we'll call it the negativity ring.
Someone, we'll say a barista at a coffee shop, is rude (as they are busy riding their own wave of the negativity ring). After you politely explain they made you the wrong drink, they correct the issue, but not before they snap at you in defense demanding you ordered incorrectly. 
Oh so now it's my fault!(?). 
We've all been there - on both the giving and receiving end of this. 
The not-so-happy-barista completes the transaction by slamming your drink down and storming away. You gather yourself and your whip-cream FREE latte and make your way to the parking lot, just as you initially intended. Only now you've got a sour taste in your mouth. The sour taste lingers as you drive away and you carry that with you to your next endeavor. Perhaps you drive a little more hastily and now you cut someone off. Maybe they're already having a bad day and they snap at their partner in the seat next to them because it's all they can do not to burst into tears. 
Whatever the scenario may be, you see how quickly it can happen. It's like a mean game of telephone but instead of a secret piece of gossip getting misunderstood - it's an angry virus that is transmitted through social interaction. 
But it doesn't have to be. A simple act of kindness can go just as far - if not even farther than an angry virus can. The concept of the ripple effect born from niceness, is exemplified perfectly in one of my favorite poems. I discovered it in a Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul book when I was about 15, and it has stuck with me ever since. 

The poem is called "Smile," and it goes like this:

"She smiled at a sorrowful stranger.

The smile seemed to make him feel better.

He remembered the past kindness of a friend.

and wrote a thank-you letter.

The friend was so pleased with the thank-you

that he left a large tip after lunch.

The waitress, surprised by the size of the tip,

bet the whole thing on a hunch.

The next day she picked up her winnings,

and gave part to a man on a street.

The man on the street was grateful;

for two days he'd had nothing to eat.

After he finished his dinner,

he left for his small dingy room.

(He didn't know at that moment

that he might be facing his doom.)

On the way he picked up a shivering puppy

and took him home to get warm.

The puppy was very grateful

to be in out of the storm.

That night the house caught on fire.

The puppy barked the alarm.

He barked 'til he woke the whole household

and saved everybody from harm.

One of the boys that he rescued

grew up to be President.

All this because of a simple smile

that hadn't cost a cent" 

(I can't figure out the author's name to save my life, so by all mean's if you can, please do, and let me know!)

Being nice may not always come naturally - or easily - but it goes such a long way. Besides what's that old adae you hear all the time? 

Everyone is fighting some sort of battle. Be kind. Always.

Recently I was temping at an office and I had a rather humanizing experiencing reminding me that I'm - oh yes - human and that I can stand to take my own worldly wisdom often (I write this stuff for me, not you). I saw the same woman every day and she could rarely squeeze out a smile, let alone make eye contact. I don't know what my deal was, but I made the mistake of speaking up to a colleague, "What is her problem? She seems so angry all the time...really unhappy & not very nice."

To which my colleague quickly replied,"She's actually really nice. I think she's very insecure about her personal situation. You should talk to her."

He was so right, and I was embarrassed I let myself go there.

The next day was a new day - a great day to be judgement free, to be selfless, to be nice. I saw her and instead of assuming and avoiding I said, "Good morning Claudia*! I am loving your dress!" I did - it hugged her in all the right places. 

And guess what? She stood a little taller, smoothed the non-existent wrinkles at her hips, smiled ear to ear looked at me and said, "Would you believe I got it at Ross?!" The conversation took off from there and when finished she had a new bounce to her step. She paraded around the office for the rest of the day as the best dressed woman in the office that she was. I saw that ripple effect first hand, and it didn't cost me a cent. 

Within the hour of this interaction, I made my way to the copy room where I saw a large and naked bulletin board that had been there all along but today I really saw it. It was empty of any fliers, reminders, company picnic announcements, or lost dog posters and one very powerful statement on it: NICE IS IMPORTANT. 

A reminder to all that Nice goes a long way. A simple truth that creates a magic ripple effect and doesn't cost a cent? Where do I sign? I WANT MORE. And you should too. Sometimes it can be hard, I know, but I think we can do it.

...and her life was Simply wonderful

All my very best,

Em

Eyeliner and Granny Panties

It's Valentines Day and to me just another day with a little extra bit of red sprinkled around the day and maybe some flowers if you're lucky. And I like that!  
In the week gearing up for this cheesy albeit Hallmarky (I think they're going out of business?? So sad) type holiday though, I have watched the self loathing pity posts exploding all over social media and you know what? I don't like that. Everyone can have their day of doom. Their moment out of the sun, fine; but, let me offer a different perspective: 

#1. If you're wearing your self loathing pity party anywhere near your sleeve - the rest of the world can smell and feel your desperate lonely self from a short mile away, making your prognosis for nailing down that perfect someone far from a reality. Harsh maybe, but true - lighten up! 

#2. It's just another day! Why go around souring it for everyone else? Pull yourself up and charge ahead - just for today.

#3. Shouldn't we be sharing the love in our hearts with everyone we come across everyday? Maybe those poor souls who don each other with diamonds and luxury limo buses on Valentine's day really just hate each other the rest of the year.  Tell yourself that and move on.
When it comes to that ol' heart of your - don't cry because it's broken or lonely, laugh because you've got one and you can! You're alive and the sun is shining - celebrate that! 

Know that I laugh out loud as I say this and want to assure you it's all in good fun. Just try not to be so sad because you don't have a Valentine. Or because you have to work. Or because you don't have a valentine AND you have to work. Oh the hell. Can you imagine? 

On the contrary to the negative posts, my social media was also filled some great attitudes from single female friends of mine and I had to share their perspectives which is nail-on-the-head what I'm saying. 

"Hilarious! Happy Valentine's Day to the rest of us!"

"Happy Valentine's Day to me! I do it for the chocolate!"

"Happy Valentine's Day to my special boys!!"

Maybe we could all take a hint front these ladies who find the humor, love or appreciation wherever they can and move onward. 
I know I know, I'm married. So who the F am I to say all of this BS about not whining on Valentine's Day? Well I'll tell you.  I'm someone who has shared Valentine's day with the same guy for 10 years. We've had good Valentine's and bad. We've had ones where he didn't even remember what day it was and I was pissed. We have had them when we both worked and didn't celebrate at all. To us it was always just another day. One with a little extra red sprinkled around and maybe some flowers if I was lucky. But I am ok with that and I encourage you to be the same. 
When in doubt do what I did - put on a dress and some eyeliner, grab a partner if you can, and smile pretty for a homemade selfie...what you don't know is I'm wearing flip flops on my feet and granny panties underneath. It's all about perspective my friends.

Eyeliner & Granny Panties

Good Night!

...and her life was Simply wonderful

All my very best,
Em